There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
