Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
