Don't you send me to vm
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm just crazy horny about you
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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