drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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