Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize