Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
