just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize