we're blogging at a bar
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize