help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
