She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize