What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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