So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
