HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
