If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
