i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
