we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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