Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
