Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
