so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
