So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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