I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
