so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
