I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
