Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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