That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Let's paint friendship bongs
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
