I have demons in me.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize