bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
