i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
