I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
