His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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