you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
