you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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