My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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