its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
