hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
