READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
