It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
