I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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