Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
