what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
