This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
