her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i think my cat just said my name.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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