when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
