I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
