I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
