If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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