Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize