Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize