I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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