If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
