I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
