Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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