I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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