Don't you send me to vm
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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