I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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