i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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