been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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