I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
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