He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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