a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize