I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
