I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
