is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
