I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
