that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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